Romance in Everything

Well he's not technically my first, but I guess I loved him....

I saw him first in my second law class... I think he was late returning for the semester so that was probably why he didn't come to the first class. He was the first Nigerian boy that I just liked at once... they tend to get annoying and when you get to know them, you become used to them, so your feelings towards them change to a more intimate one, and then you tend to think its love. With him it was different... he was cute in that baby way that made you just want to hug him, his voice was made in heaven, or so I thought at the time... I told myself that it would pass like my other crushes, but I think I knew I was deceiving myself.... and if you're reading this and you know yourself, please don't think I'm weird....

anyway after that class, I told all my friends about him... like I didn't even waste that much time... they never believed that he was that "fine", and I know they probably still didn't even after I showed him to them. the next day I found out that he was in all my classes except my homeroom. and I started the looking game thing.... sometimes I still think he thought I was weirdo but oh well... sometimes I would stare at him and then when he caught me I looked away... I mean I did that with everyone, I don't really make eye contact with people because I just don't feel comfortable with it, its like they can read my mind and my eyes are very expressive.... but with him it was different... I don't know how but I know it was. 

I went through every phase of love... sometimes I was like yeah well he can't ever like me cuz I am not like other girls that are straightforward.. and some other times I'm like I'll be the one to take off the blindfold, to open his eyes to my "hidden beauty"... and yeah that only happened like one night when I watched all the Cinderella story movies... please don't judge me...:D anyway I think he got the message that I liked him cuz every time he walked past me and my friends were there, they would nudge me and make all this silly faces and noises... and for a time it got weird... and perpetual if you're reading this, with all the love in this world, fuck you!!

so one week, I was feeling all superwoman-ish and I "proclaimed" to my friends that I did not like him anymore and I also managed to convince myself that I didn't... only because through out that week I did not see him... on the Friday of that week, I was having lunch and he walked past... and I just kept staring at all that gorgeousness... my friends noticed and teased me the whole fucking day... oh yeah and sometimes I was just like why me lord? how can the boy I like not even say a word to me although it seemed like he knew I liked him, and then other boys I dint give two fucks about keep bugging me? I sound mean but it was the honest truth..

He did some nice things for me, he helped me carry a bag one time and he also called me smart indirectly.. or at least that was the way I interpreted it... and yeah we had conversation once... and yeah I almost forgot... I was Skype-ing with my friend in the same residence as him one time, and he walked and said hi to me and didn't it know was me so I just listened to their conversation... he is smart and I guess that is what I like in a guy... I mean physical qualities count but a brain has to come with it right?...

This summer my friend sent him a message saying that I loved him in Chinese..... fuck you again perpetual.. and yeah I don't think I can ever face him again... he was a cool first love I guess... yeah he was... The annoying part was that I never got to go out with him although if asked me out I'll have probably said no because I'm stupid like that.... he seemed like a fun guy and yeah that's it about him, that I know of.. and if you're reading this please don't judge me again ....