how did I ever think that I would find love
that it would come the way it does in novels
that it would engulf me and carry me to planes I never knew existed
that it would take over my life completely
that I would love you and you would love me back
and that I would be your one and only

how did I ever think that we were just friends
and that you would think nothing more of our friendship
that you would never look at me in that lewd way
that all the dinners we went out on were just friendly dates
that you would not rape me in the privacy of my home

how did I ever think that love existed in this world
that parents loved their children
that they cared a lot for them as I see in some movies
that instead of chiding and abusing them all the time they killed them with love
that instead of introducing them to drugs they gave them the best education

how did I ever think that I would not love again
that there was no man out there with a heart so full of love
that he would love me even when I didn't want him to
that he would teach me what love truly meant
that he would love me and love me just because I was me
how did I ever think.........